Tuesday, March 16, 2004
Updating~~
It seems like I haven't been coming online for period of time.
Many ppl asking me to update my blog so here I am.
Many things happening in my life.
I don't know how am I going to cope with my studies this way.
With all the latecoming and everything else.
My family, friends, studies, CCA and the list juz goes on and on..
Haiz..
I don't know why this year seems extremely difficult for me to cope in everything.
My attitude, emotions and everything else..
Why am I like that this year?I have no answer.
Why can't I juz be like last year or two years back.
Whereby everything isn't as bad as this.
Everything is juz so easy to handle.
Is this some kind of stress?
I don't know.Really don't know.
Dee had asked me a couple of time am I feeling stress?
I told her no I wasn't.
But I don't know if me answer is really that.
Really don't know.
Izzit I'm stress that why I'm like that?
Izzit true that I'm stress?
I don't know.
*cry..
Can someone pls tell me what's within me?
Who can really understand me inside out?WHO???
I don't know.
I have no aims in life.
Don't know where to go after 'O's.
No plans no nothing.
I wish there could be juz this one person who can read what in my heart,my mind.
And tell me exactly what's going on in me.
Aaaahhhh..
I've been good girl lately.
But I'm still so affected by things.
Cried everyday.i mean everyday.
My eyes are pain,my sights are getting worst,lost my specs.
No $ to make new pair,straining my eyes everyday.
Really hurts me a lot.
Tired of things that is happening around me.
Dad is giving up on me.
Mom is so worried for me.
But what I did as a daughter.
Late everyday.
Getting into so much trouble
WHICH I DON'T LIKE TO!!
Is not fun at all.
NOT AT ALL.
Hurts me so much when you keep telling me you have no $.
That you wouldn't be working anymore next year.
And here I am wanna give up on my studies to work and hlp this family but yet you always work so hard to make sure we can study well and pass.
Which on the other hand make me wanna work even harder to make sure you didn't waste you $ on surpporting me in my studies.
*Cry...
I can't be that smart.
But all you asked for is juz a pass in everything and that I can pass my 'o' level.
But I'm telling you now I'm useless.
I never once pass my test for many subjects.
My studies in sch is so bad that I feel so lousy bout myself.
No matter how much effort I put in the results is ALWAYS the same.
*Cry...
When I wanna change for the better things always happen which makes me feel lousy bout myself and never wanna try agn.*Cry...
I hate this life.
Living in this world.
I hate it!
Is so hard to live a life smoother than this.
Have been praying to god for quite sometime.
Though it works is juz for that period of time only.
God hears my prayer I know.
He's always there right be side me whenever I'm down.
He knows and he plan everything in our life for a purpose.
But what's the purpose for me going thur such a miserable life?
With me having to cry everyday.
Waiting for my eye sight to get worst and worst day by day.
What's the point?
Who have the answer to all my misery?
Only one person in the whole entire world has it.
He is GOD!
When can all my qn's ans be reveal to me?
When will the day come?
I'm tired to cry everyday.
Tired to be in this misery.
Never succeed in everything I do.NEVER.
*Behind every smile, there is always so much of sadness one is going thur*
♥ Purple Love™ addicted to purple at: 3:36 AM
