Friday, June 16, 2006
I think i slp a lot...
I've been slping till late lately...
now i cant get to slp..
and my head is spinnig...
hmmm...
i can really feel my head is so heavy and i can see the screen like moving frm left to right...
haha...
so cute...
niway here's my entry...
it's gonna be like the pervious one...
with different event aft each para...
Here it goes...
^start^
i'm kinda angry when i heard something tat lydia and noel told me...
abt one of my sec sch classmate...
actually i really dislike her a lot a lot a lot...
but nobody knows lah...
i'm sucha good actress...
Lol...
i mean i wun wanna hate anyone lah...
Hating someone is very tiring...
i rather dun care abt tat person...
and seriously i really nv care abt her...
Lol...
this is wat hpn b4...
when i was with her, i felt something amiss...
my intutition told me so...
aft i broke with her, and go with her...
my intutition told me the same thing...
Haiz...
i wasnt thinking a lot then...
i told my ex b4 abt it...
but i just let the matter rest since she did nthg...
but we did quarrel coz of jealousy ok...
Haiz..
then now i found out abt her mayb is a crk...
tat makes me super angry...
Argh...
Haiz...
dun wanna talk abt this anymore...
kinda not my business anymore...
coz she can like whoever she wants...
coz her world and my world is different now!
she want to have those gals i used to had, just go ahead...
i can tell tat she really trying to get closer to them...
but is none of my busniess...
she will nv like the gal i'm liking now...
if she ever do so...
i'm so gonna confront her...
^next^
i kinda quarrelled with sally kow...
Haiz...
i know she's feeling dwn...
and i can tell that she drinks a lot over the phone...
and we quarrel over such guy...
guys sucks totally...
he said one thing to her and said another thing to me and said another thing to another person...
what's this...
here's the full story...
this guy went missing for days...
sally and i tried to call him everyday...
and the phone doesnt seems to die off...
and we were worried...
and we even tot of all the possibilities of where he could have landed up in...
we keep guessing...
and apparently sally trusted him a lot...
she can talk openly to this guy abt anything and everything...
now tat this guy went missing, she feels sad...
so i tried to hlp to locate him...
this guy used to asked me to be his god sis...
but i did not ans his qn and even told sally abt it...
so frm then on, sally kpt thinking tat he's close to me and becoz he treats me like a sis so he would have told me many things...
this guy kpt telling me if anyone bully me tell him then he hlp me...
and he kpt saying wat are frens for...
so he's missing...
and today, he sent both of us forward msgs...
i told sally at once when i received he's sms...
we dunno wat is he up to...
seriously...
so i msg him and asked him...
"wat hpn? wat exactly hpn? why wun u tell us? wat's so secretive abt it? U always say, wat r frens 4, then nw u're facing a prob why wun u let ur frens-that is us know, instead u're making us worried. So is tat wat u called frens, by nt sharing anything with us? If tat's the case then i tink u're nt treating us as a fren."
he replied...
"I am fine.. i am SORI to let u worry...I have a very bad toothache must remove wisdom tooth, giving me hell n discomfort... i in isolation cos broke...to hell with all those cheques i received but cannot cash out ocs i don have IC..my ic ready on 3rd of july...haiz...so SORI!...wru? u eat alr? hows life?
"i kind of a da nan ren n don like to ask opposite sex for help...so SORI to make u worry...tks anyway for ur concern...my word still stands...just let me know if anybody bully u or u need any help..."
p.s=i was thinking, go bank take money need ic meh? Really? can anyone tell me?
I replied...
"that i know. But at least inform us of ur where abt lah. Haiz. then why wun u reply us earlier and tell us then we will stop calling n msging till u got ur money.Nw is like making it worst by telling us all this nw when u shld have done it earlier. Haiz. Whatever lah. take care lah."
tat's wat i mag him abt...
then he didnt reply...
and sally kow tried to call him when all the msging is going on but he didnt pick up, aft tat, he off his phone alr...
so was on the phone with sally kow...
i told her frm the start i dun have a gd impression of him...
not tat i look dwn on such ppl...
i just feel not right when we've been drinking and hang out with him...
so sally kow was sad and kinda give up on him le...
coz we always encourage him and all but now it turn out to be like tat...
kinda irresponsible...
Haiz...
then is sally kow and me de story le...
aft he went missing, sally doesnt believe that he didnt tell me anything...
she kpt thinking that he would have told me where he go and kp saying that i shld know somethings that she dun...
but the fact is that, i dun talk to him...
i nv initiated msging him...
if we did msg is when he started msging me then i'll reply...
it just so hpn once when we were msging and he told me something and he went missing for the 1st time...
so i did told sally kow wat he told me b4 when he went missing for the 1st time...
then when he's back he msg me and i told sally at once and he did msg sally as well..
so when he was back, he ask me for the vcd tat he lent me...
and he said he's coming dwn on sunday...
but that he didnt tell sally and i didnt tell sally coz i tot he wld have told her too...
but then b4 sunday, he's alr missing...
and i told sally that he did mention that he'll be coming dwn to take the vcd frm me on sun...
and she assume that he wld have told me more but i totally have no idea that he went missing until sally asked me..
then my reaction was like agn...
Haiz...
and honestly..
i've nv talked to him over the phone b4...
well, we did...
only when he gave me morning calls..
other then tat, we dun talk thru phones..
if i noe anything abt him, it's all via msging...
ok so today...
we were on the phone aft her off his phone...
then cant really rmb wat we talk abt that leads to this issue whereby she was saying that the guy still holding onto some vcds that belongs to another colleuge[is a she] of mine...
and that vcd of hers belongs to her fren's...
but that guy oso have sally's vcd...
and sally said her vcd nvm, but my collegue's vcd matters more...
so i told her...
if i manage to get him then i'll asked him toreturn the vcd as well...
then sally asked me...
why will u manage to contact him...
i told her it's only a wat if...
and i said there's always a wat if lor...
coz he wanted his cd back frm me b4...
so if the nxt time round when he asked for the vcd then i'll asked for the other vcd back lah...
then she told me...
i dunno whether or not u're speaking the truth..
then she said...
rmb i told u once b4...
i dunno if u're a good or bad person...
and she continue saying...
if it's not becoz of wat u said to linda and i over heard it with my own ears and saw that the both of u were talking with my own eyes, i wun believe it myself...
and she said, rmb there this period of time whereby i didnt really talk to u...
and indeed there's once...
tat hpns a long time ago...
she did tell me of wat i said...
*re-cap*
that incident is just becoz i did something wrong and i didnt really own up when she accused and scolded another collegue of mine in front of me...
but that something wrong that i did didnt came to my mine when my collegue asked me abt it...
so i told him to placed it at the wrong place...
watever...
tat was a long time ago...
*back to the story*
then i parted with dee and seek...
and i just told her this while i walking out of cs...
i told her...
i cant force u to see that i'm a good person, neither can i force u to see that i'm a bad person...
i said, everyone have different view of seeing someone...
i believe there are ppl out there who sees me as a bad person oso becoz of wat i did...
but that was the past...
then we just kpt slient and she was like..
ok...
then nthg alr...
and we just said bye and hang up...
so i msg her this when i board the bus...
"u dunno what's going on with him, neither do i. U may have heard things in the past that makes u believe that i'm a bad person. But well, i'm telling u the truth that i SERIOUSLY dunno what's up with him. Believe it or not is totally up to u. If u dun trust me, then i have nothing to say. And if u dun believe tat i really dunno then stop askg me abt him. So what if he is my bro. When he asked me 2 be his sis, i did nt ans tat qn."
she replied...
"sorry"
while i was typing this msg [the one below] then she sent the above msg...
"i wanna wash my hands off this issue.I'm sick and tired of it.This is spoiling our frenship. If our frenship is gonna be ruin by this matter, i rather back out and stop talkg abt it. Coz my conscious is clear tat i totally dunno n have NO IDEA abt HIM."
Then i replied to her that sorry msg...
"Haiz. I'm just sad tat u actually doubt me when i said i dunno anything abt him. U take a gd rest. Take care."
Then she called and said sorry...
and i was like huh..orh...ok...
a bit cold towards her coz once u're sad and the person say sorry, a bit useless and no mood to talk to the person mah...
must calm dwn 1st rite...
then she sorry agn then i said nvm...
then there was silence...
then my hp low batt warning sound...
i told her..
erm, my hp low batt le...
yah...
then she didnt reply so i tot my phone died...
then i hello...
then she was like orh, ok...
bye...
then we hang...
then i felt bad and i called her using my another phone..
i can tell that she sounds sad and dwn just nw when she said sorry to me...
1st time i hear a sorry frm her...
i felt so bad too...
is like she's alr sad enuff coz of that guy then now i go and say such stuff to her..
like making things worst...
Haiz...
she's someone who treasure frenship a lot de...
then when i called her..
i kpt asking her where is she...
she told me on the way hm...
she sounds like she just cried..
i dunno how to ask her...
so i said u did drink when u were in paragon...
and she said yes...
then i was like ok...
then i asked for her exact location..
she told me orchard mrt..
then i was like thinking...
like 1 hr ago she told me she going hm...
she's still in town aft that 1hr...
i bet she went to buy some drinks agn...
Haiz..
i felt so bad...
then i asked her to take care and all..
then we ended the call..
then i msg her..
"u dun sound ok lor. U sound like u drink and u're crying lor. Haiz. I'm sorry 4 being hash just nw. Sorry."
I msg her when i'm walking up to my hse...
"PLEASE take care. I'm sorry 4 not being there 2 take care of u. Can u let me know when u get hm, Please?"
then i waited and she didnt reply...
so i decided to call her when i got hm...
her phone is off...
then i called another number...
i so scared that she went to drink alone and something might hpn to her agn...
so i msg her both phone...
"Hello! Where r u? Haiz. He like that. U oso wanna be another him tat makes ppl worried? What hpn? Haiz. C'mon. Where r u nw? U're a gal k. Pls, i will nt wan anything to hpn to u. If u're not telling me where u r then i'll go look for u."
So, then while calling the other phone number i msg that...
then she picked up that phone and i asked her where is she...
and she told me she's in the train...
obviously she really is...
i can hear the background that she's in the turnal...
then i asked her abt the other phone, she told me she off it...
then she said she'll call me back...
then we hang...
She msg and said...
"I OK THANK GD NIGHT."
then i tot she hm alr...
so i called and think she just reached her hse de mrt station ba...
then i was like, where r u..
then she said on her way hm...
then i was like orh, ok lor...
i jus wanna make sure that u're safe and sound...
then we hang...
and i msg her..
"huh. u not hm yet ah. Haiz. Call me when u hm ok? I'm sorry if i'm being very fan. But i just wanna make sure that u're really safe. Haiz. Sorry!"
"I dun wan u to feel lonely. I just want u to know that no matter what hpns, i'll always be here for u. U'll always got me as a fren."
Then she reply aft sometime...
"im ok thank i'm hm alr thank sorry to let u worry gd night."
then i reply and said...
"it's ok as long as u're ok. Pls take a gd rest k? I wun disturb u frm ur rest. Take grt care. Sorry for whatever i've said that hurts u in anyway."
then she didnt reply le...
end of story...
^Next^
went to meet seek and dee at tm today...
the bus was crowded lah...
was standing up mah..
the i scan the whole bus to see got space to seat not...
and unconsciously i was scanning hoping to see familiar faces [dunno why am i hoping to see familiar faces it's just unconsciously ok...]...
dunno why, my intutition is damn accurate these days...
i was thinking she might be in the bus...
but apparently when i scan, i didnt see her lah...
so half-way thru, she called...
so i happily talking to her on the phone lor...
she didnt sound so troubled so i'm kinda happy for her..
but she and her gf still not ok lor..
so yah..
but she's not thinking abt it lah..
she's so cheerful...
then talking half-way, there's a seat in front of me, the person get up mah...
so i sat dwn...
then while i talked hppily on the phone i was looking ard lah..
like normal lor..
then my god...
i spotted her..
haha..
my intutition so accurate sia...
she's sitting opps...
not directly tho...
so somehow, when i looked at her, she saw me, i think...
but she turn away 1st...
so i didnt bother much lah..
then i continue on the phone with her...
i wanted to sit nxt to her when the person beside her leaves..
wanted to asked if she's alrite coz she looks so qiao cui..
but i didnt coz i on the phone..
then i talked to her on the phone till i reached inter at the mrt station there then we hang up coz her mother kpt asking her to go eat dinner..
then she told her mother, can let ppl complete the sentence 1st not...
she so cute lah..
haha...
then i didnt get the chance to say hi or even asked her how's she..
so i met up with seek they all..
at the food court, i mag her..
"u ok? u look very qiao cui. Do take grt care."
and she replied..
"i'm not ok. I so feel like crying. Argh. But thanks anyway."
then i msg her and say one whole lot of things...u noe those comforting words when someone is dwn asking them to look on the bright side and all...
then she didnt reply...
so i decided to give her a call b4 i leave tampines...
and see if everything is ok for her...
so true enuff, i left cs...
aft i hang up with sally kow at that part whereby she didnt noe i'm a gd or bad person...
i called her...
and asked if she's ok...
then she said she's fine...
then i said u dun sound fine to me..
then she said she's ok..
so i was like orh..
ok lor..then u take care...
then we hang...
^next^
on the bus on my way hm, i was sad...
coz of wat sally said...
i almost cry that time...
i called her...
she didnt pick up...
so aft that when i was abt to reached my hse she called...
then she asked if i'm ok and wat's up and all..
so i told her nthg much alr..
i'm ok...
then she asked if i'm sure..
i said kinda...
then she asked me to tell her what hpn..
and is 10pm le..
her chang jin show start le so i asked her to watch it...
then i told her long story..
then she kinda insist that i tell her but i didnt..
i told her i'm ok aft hearing her voice...
haha..
then she was like..
huh, my voice ok ah, very normal and all..
then aft that i reached my stop le i told her...
it's ok, i'm at my hse dwnstairs le..
she can go watch her tv le..
but she said nvm mah...
since u're alr dwnstairs then we talked until u reached ur hse..
haha..
she's so nice..
but i didnt wanna disturb her...
and my hp low batt, rmb...
so got the low batt warning sound then i told her..
i dun wanna talk to u le, coz my hp low batt le...
then i asked her to go watch her show then she ok..
then we hang..
^next^
we were msging each other recently, as usual...
and we talked abt the past...
on sunday, cant rmb what were we talking abt b4 that and she said...
"i felt sad... reminds of the past. I used to love u alot but yet ya second sis dun wan us to b together so we juz broke off lk tt. sigh. m so sorry too."
i tell u, i didnt noe anything abt this until...
that sunday that jus past...
i read this msg, i was shock!
Haiz...
"yah tt tym no choice. she kip askin me to let u go cos she dun wan u to b les i guess.b lk her.. ... ..."
can u imagine...
aft hearing that i was kinda angry...
but i noe my sis meant well..
so didnt scold my sis or asked her abt it...
Haiz...
wat a waste..
a r/s whereby both parties like each other so much then just ended like that...
sounds like those story frm some shows...
i tell u, i didnt study for my history paper aft she broke with me...
she broke with me the day b4 my history paper...
and i totally didnt study at all..
i cried...
then i got 27/100 for that paper...
think it was a mid-year paper..
cool rite..
nobody knows abt this oso...
Haiz..
i almost cired on monday nite..
coz i really cant stop thinking abt her..
and i miss her so much...
really...
a lot a lot..
very long nv miss someone so badly le...
Haiz...
^next^
i kp saying i wanna cry...
twice le...
monday and just now...
but do i actually noe the meaning of cry...
i used to cry like nobody's business...
they called me a cry baby...
but if u asked me to cry now, totally no tears at all lah...
but got those crying feeling but just no tears...
do u noe how it feels...
haha...
so sad is the only word to describe the crying feeling that i have...
haha..
^next^
aft all...
i dun really hate her..
I dunno why i used to hate her..
but somehow, i treat her as a someone that is more than a Hi-Bye fren...
yup...
fan wong said in one show that she was acting in that..
hating someone is something very tiring...
why not do something more meaningful in life then to spent the time to hate that person...
haha..
i've learnt frm her...
so honestly, i dun hate her lah...
mayb last time the things she did makes me dislike her...
but nw, i'm actually ok with it lah..
^next^
as usual, i like to gossip abt ppl de mah...
so somethings got gossip abt her oso...
but nthg new mah...
aft all, we were once fren mah..
so..
ok lah..
rain aft sky bright... *yu guo tian qing* Lol...
i guess...
but the real weather is starting to rain soon...
Lol...
I wanna slp le..
working at 12.30pm later...
Yup..
but guess wat's the time nw...
9.50am...
Lol..
How nice...
^next^
is a long entry...
pardon me...
^next^
gotta start mugging...
ppl, pls remind me that i'm having my common test in another one week's time and i've yet to open up my books...
Argh!!!!!!!!!!
^next^
will any kind soul hlp me change my blog skin?! i'll give u my password and all...
Thank u so much!-in advance to whoever is that kind soul...
I shall wait and see...
^next^
Gotta go...
bye...
♥ Purple Love™ addicted to purple at: 6:03 AM
Sunday, June 11, 2006
tired.. but cant slp.. sianz..
Haiz...
i'm so darn tired lah...
but i'm not slping at this wee hr...
sianz...
*next*
Have been drinking lately agn...
with sally kow, of coz...
only go drinking with her lor..
haha...
but didnt drink a lot..
so cldnt get to slp...
i wish i cld drink more so tat i come hm can slp str8 away..
but i cant coz in case she drunk, someone needs to be awake...
and yes, yesterday she was drunk...
i had to ask my taxi driver to come pick us up outside m.o.s...
yes, we went clark quey's one of this club/pub above hooters to drink...
then sent her to woodlands b4 i come hm...
wanted to sent her up to her door step...
but she said no need...
so i sent her to the lift only..
she's to bothered by something..
therefore she's drunk...
then i go hm...
and the cab fare costed me $37.35..
then my taxi driver only charged me $37..
hee...
*next*
i drank martell today..
1st time trying it..
the smell very strong even tho they pour very lil for me..
i mixed with hot water...
all i can taste is hot water and i think 1% of the martell..
lol..
really very lil...
but the smell sux..
so i only had one gls of it and change back to my chivas..
hee..
*next*
Haiz..
then i think i'm in love...
no, u guys didnt see wrongly...
but somehow like wat dee said..
mayb it's just for this few days...
Haiz..
i shall wait for one week later then i conclude my feeling for her..
hee..
i've been msging her everyday..
i think i a bit irritating sia..
lol...
but well..
cant resist lah..
Haiz...
ppl att some more..
i mus stop thinking of her lor...
tat's the only thing i can do..
she's too caring till it may mislead me...
tat's how i felt..
Haiz..
i hope i wun be the third party..
*next*
got one customer asked me on fri..
coz i doing closing...
then gotta asked for last order and all..
then the customer damn cute..
is a aunty in her late 30s i guess or early 40s lah..
she suddenly said, : " u must be having a hot date tonite."
then i stunt..
i dunno wat she talking abt..
haha..
then she said coz ppl usually get very excited and energetic when they are abt to knock off..
then she asked me, "u not going anywhere aft ur work?"
i told her no coz i'm tired..
going hm to rest..
i was seriously tired ok..
then when i sent the bill over to her she asked agn, " u sure u nt going anywhere."
i smiled and say nope coz i alr went out till very late the day before...
tat's on thur, i went zouk mah...
then she was lk, no wonder..
then she told me, i shld go out some more mah..
then she continued saying she last time at my age go drink 6 days a week then sunday at home comma...
she's so funny..
then she told me, no need to rest wan lah..
haha..
then i told her i gotta work and study at the same time...
cannot dun rest..
very tiring..
haha..
then we laugh le then i walked away..
yah lor...
*next*
i got things to gossip..
wanna noe, come and asked me..
i'm not gonna type it here...
lol...
*next*
suprisingly, one of my poly clsmate msg me and talked to me abt a conflict she had btw she n her bf...
she asked me not to tell others in my click de..
i was shocked to hear abt it lah..
i mean, i always nv go sch and all..
then we oso not very closed..
haha..
hmmm..
well..
ppl trust me mah, wat to do..
i'm as usual, the counsellor[dunno hw to spell n lazy to check up the dictionary] mah..
hee..
*next*
*thinking n missing her.. really every min, every sec
wat does this mean???*
Haiz..
confused...
*next*
I got ear blocked/ blocked ear?!
i cant hear clearly..
and that's due to the fact tat i've been hearing loud musics for 3 consecutive days...
thur -> zouk
fri n sat -> este [the club/pub at clark quey the one i mention. above hooters]
gosh...
no matter how hard i tries to dig my ear oso no use..
there isnt the shit tat is causing the block ear/ear blocked..
is those loud musics..
i guess i'm going deaf very soon...
i cant hear wat my colleuges says..
i cant hear the customers calling me...
is tat bad...
not exaggerating...
lol...
*next*
hmmm...
nthg much...
*next*
gtg get some rest b4 my work tml..
oh,
suppose to hlp my sis to do jelly..
coz she needs my hlp...
then i told her i'll only be hm at 2+ / 3+ am..
then i asked her to rest 1st then i wake her up when i'm hm..
but she's slping like a dead log nw..
cant even be woken up..
even with me, on the keyborad typing away, with the typing noises...
she's not even awaken by it..
she must be real tired..
poor her...
*next*
k lah..
cant wait to see everyone..
hee..
tml is the day..
*next*
take care...
gd nite...
♥ Purple Love™ addicted to purple at: 4:11 AM
