Friday, March 18, 2005
I awake...
Well, things are jus not the way i want it to be.
But then agn, no one can ever always get what they wanted.
If it is so then there will definately be world peace.
Well, alrite lah.
I think i shld be contented with what i have.
As long as i dun get myself in too deep then i think i shld be fine and can easily get in and out of it.
But then the point is...
Haiz...
Never mind.
No one know what i'm doing now.
Not even myself.
I dunno what i really wan out of what i'm doing.
Thinking to get things my way is definately a no-no.
Haiz.
Even if i know what i want, but things are jus getting in my way.
Yah lor.
Well, all i want is for things to get back into what it was in the beginning.
Be it, r/s, frens and work or whatsoever.
Yah lah.
Haiz.
I shall try not to be like who i was b4 even if that's really who i am.
Coz no one in this entire world can tolerate me.
Not even myself.
I mus really learn self-disapline and tolerance towards everything.
Haiz.
Well, sometyms somethings that is said to me are meant to be kpt within us.
And i've learnt a lot from there.
Is like what a question she had asked me.
Till now i had no answer to it.
Both are so different.
How can i decide.
Haiz.
Heard them toking abt each other really hurts a lot.
Onw who regard her as best fren and the other jus being very disappointed with her.
Is so hard to go back to the tyms when they were close agn.
Haiz.
Everyone has their own reason(s) to do certain things.
So we cant jus judge them by what they do.
Sometyms i think ppl got to learn to listen rather den to jus comment base on what they see and hear w/o really knowing the real reason for somethings.
Well, i can say i'm like that oso.
I dun deny that i jump to conclusion all the tym.
This is something that everyone shld learn and put themselves in each other shoes.
Like that then can lean a more peaceful life mah.
Haiz.
Not all will understand this logic and not all will agree.
Is really up to each individual to decide and think what is right and wrong.
I believe ppl's thinking differs as they have their reasons behind it too.
It may seems right for them but not for others.
In any way ppl shld learn to respect each other's way of thinking.
Yah lor.
Dunno why am i like so talking abt da dao li all of a sudden, out of the blue.
Well, mayb aft toking to her then i realise a lot of things in this world and am trying to do what i think is right and how to be more +ve towards everything.
Haha.
Trying to get what i've mention above into my head.
Hee.
Alrite.
Got to slp nw.
Working tonite agn.
Hope everything will go smoothly for me ba.
Hope when i wake up will be much better day ahead.(When like everyone is alr fast aslp.)Haha.
Well, i'm used to the life i'm leading.
And at the same tym i'm tired of leading such life.
Haiz.
So contradicting.
Haiz.
Alrite lah.
Good night everyone.
Sorry for toking so much.
Mus understand, ppl very long nv blog le.
Hee.
Chaos.
♥ Purple Love™ addicted to purple at: 12:05 PM
Thursday, March 17, 2005
I'm tired...
Well, the job is a easy job aft all...
Finally i have the time to use my comp and all...
So for the pass few days many things hpn in my life...
I mean i know lots of things but well, i jus kpt quite...
Coz i really dunno wat to say...
Both oso my fren...
What can i say...
On one hand i'm like trying to hlp them but they dun wanna hlp themselves den is like i cant do anything alr lor...
Haiz...
I'm their frens, u asked me to say them i wun lor...
But in that way i ended up hai-ing them instead of hlping...
Haiz...
I, myself oso getting into trouble but like who can hlp...
Well, the first day i worked there was damn free...
But aft sometym...
There's a few things i got to do every night which will kp me busy...
What the hell lah...
Wanna hlp oso cannt...
Dun wanna hlp oso cannt...
I really dunno what to do lor...
I mean each tym this things hpn i jus wanna stay out of it...
Coz is like will shang gang qin...
even if i hlp them to say nice things they wun know....
But when things turns out bad they will feel that i dint hlp them in any ways...
What the hell...
Is like even if i really did hlp them to speak up like they will ever know...
Like why will i wanna tell them...
So that they will be grateful?!
No lor...
I dun need that...
Not say they wun...
But everyone's thinking differ...
I may mean one thing and they might think otherwise...
So like what's the point...
I dun need anyone to feel that i'm like oh-i'm-so-great...
I dun need that...
If they cant understand such base stuff i cant say much either...
Think is tym for me to be selfish...
I'm kind enuff to offer them...
But they cant co-orperate then like what can i do...
Haiz...
Only now that i found out abt other stuff...
Haiz...
But is too late for me to say anything coz she alr had made her decision with her other big bosses...
Haiz...
Didnt know such a small case can be such a big thing that all the bosses got to be at the meeting within 15mins...
Like what the hell lor...
Haiz...
That customer oso a bit too much lor...
Haiz...
Well...
Think is jus our luck ba...
Ppl complain and yet we are always seems to be at fault...
What can i say...
Life is like that...
Well, i'm leading a life which i'm kinda happy with...
The things that is happening around me can only be happening for few mins but it changes my life...
Well, mayb they are right...
I will never understand what they are going thru...
But well, they will never understand in any way what i'm goin thru and i've done or said either...
I mean since is alr over jus let it be...
Ppl cant take things easy i cant force them nt to...
So as i said...
i wanna be selfish from nw on...
I mean i'm jus gonna live in my own world...
Like who will ever know what i've done...
Really...
Never be nice in any way...
Coz is not worth it...
Well, even if ur intension is never to expect them to know what "great deeds" u've done, it's jus so tiring at tyms to be kind to others...
Well, not say many ppl are kind to me...
So it's alrite lah...
I've learnt to be self-centered...
Well, got to say sorry for what i've done...
I guess i was wrong from the start...
I shld have been selfish from the start...
So that none of this will hpn...
If they are really understanding person...
This things will definately nt affect any r/s btween the ppl invovled...
And well, i'm like always the last to know any thing coz she doesnt want those stuff to affect our r/s...
But like what the hell...
Some ppl just cant see it...
They jus will never understand...
Well, if they see me as those crappy ppl then let them be...
I mean is really not worth it to haf such ppl in my life who will never understand what i'm going thru...
Well, i do understand what they are going thru...
That's why i stayed out of this...
I know they can settle themselves...
Is jus that she's jus updating me abt what's going on...
Alrite lah...
No one in this world can truly understand what others feel until they experince it themselves...
I can say at my age, i know a lot more things then what a usual person like my age will know...
I have experince many things...
I've grown stronger in life...
I've see things which can be reasonable and unreasonable at tyms...
But well, ppl may not know that i know so much is jus because i'm living a life that i want to be...
I wun allow such things to hpn to me agn coz that was what i've went thru way way b4 i was 18...
I mean many thing ppl ard me dunno, only a handful of them know what i've been thru and was even shock to hear me speaking in that way...
Coz i was toking to my jie that day and she was literally shock that i'm telling her those stuff when i'm much younger than her and am the one telling her such stuff when it shld be the other way round...
Haha...
Well, i may seem stupid but i'm not...
I acted stupid coz i dun wan this things to bother me...
I mean many things i know but i jus got to pertend that i dunno...
I may know a lot of things...
But i will not act as tho i know a lot...
Is like...
I really hard for me...
But what to do...
I jus haf to do it...
Not say i want to...
But somethings is always better not know den to know so much...
And things will definately be easier that way...
Yup...
♥ Purple Love™ addicted to purple at: 2:18 PM
