Saturday, September 17, 2005
i just hate to see the number of post i have..
so here i am typing away..
haiz..
why can others study and why cant i?!
i'm definately not someone who can study lah..
seriously lah..
haiz..
i cant imagine why noel can drop 2 drops of tears after reading my entry..
haha..
not touching at all..
indeed sally kow is nice to me..
she's jus like my mom..
we talk abt anything and everything..
she knows too many things in my life..
i jus feel so comfortable talking to her lah..
i told her things that i've nv told a single soul in this world before..
haha..
can u imagine..
how close we r..
haiz..
even tho i told her we shldn't be so close..
but still..
haha..
cant hlp it..
jus cant stop talking to her..
haiz..
she's such a nice person..
a nice fren, a nice manager..
where can i go find a manager whose willing to pay me $1400 for a post of a supervisor?!
haha..
she's serious abt the post she's giving me..
but she'll never wan me to drop out of sch, i swear..
she's like there encouraging me lah..
haiz..
everyone is encouraging me..
why am i still feeling this way?!
haiz...
i shldnt give up i noe..
and things cant be undone..
wat i can only do is to never made the same mistakes agn..
i loved this song that pei zhen sent me today..
what a sad song that reminds me of u..
this song has so much reminiscence of us..
i wanna move on..
how is this possible?!
someone..
quick..
come by..
haiz..
read on the lyrics..
but u guys will never noe why it is so meaningful to me..
coz u guys never noe what hpn in that r/s i was in..
ha..
beg me if u wanna noe..
but nono..
my mouth is seal..
i'll not tell anyone..
haha..
nobody knows the time we had..
the beautiful memories we had together..
gosh..
if anyone knows, u'll noe why it's hard to get over her..
haiz..
>>>>>>The First Time By Surface<<<<<<
We were so happy then
I've no regrets
Can't you tell from the look on my face that I love you more today
The first time I looked into your eyes I cried
Do you remember the first time we fell in love
You looked into my eyes
Wiped the tears away
The first time when we fell in love
Although some time has passed
I still remember just like it was yesterday
The time is moving fast
The love I have for you
Time won't ever change
I always feel the same
Now until the end
Memories we share will live forever
Deep inside my heart I know I'll never forget.
The first time I looked into your eyes I cried
Do you remember the first time we fell in love
You looked into my eyes
Wiped the tears away
The first time when we fell in love
Music Bridge
The first time I looked into your eyes I cried
Do you remember the first time we fell in love
You looked into my eyes
Wiped the tears away
The first time when we fell in love
Oh when we fell in love
♥ Purple Love™ addicted to purple at: 3:14 AM
Friday, September 16, 2005
what the FUCK!!!
I'm not proud of it at all..
i'm so fucking angry with myself...
nobody knows how i feel...
thinking i enjoy not going for exams..
not even..
please..
i didnt have the mood at all..
to even bother answering the phone calls...
my phone had been ringing for the longest time...
the number of missed calls i had..
both from sally kow and tan yi ling..
pls lor..
i have no mood to explain..
no mood to talk..
my mind was blank when i woke up...
what worst can ever happen to me...
I DUN ENJOYED THIS AT ALL!!!!!!!
haiz..
but it has already hpn...
haiz..
i so feel like droping out of sch..
sally kow dunno that i didnt go take exams today..
haiz..
if she knew i'll be dead..
none of my family member knows abt it..
haiz..
my mum had such a high hope on me..
how can i ever let her down..
haiz..
told sally kow that i wanna drop out of sch..
she was saying then u wanna join dome..
i give u $1400 pr mth and a post of supervisor..
haha..
but obviously she was joking..
she was like..
if u drop out u only had O level cert..
where can u go..
only Dome will want u..
haha..
haiz..
but she obviously discourage me to drop out and asked me to continue with my poly life..
at least when i come out and wanna work i still have a poly diploma cert..
haiz..
i really dunno..
this is not like sec sch anymore..
no more spoon feed..
no more discipline..
it's all by urself thing..
vaneh how can be left alone..
how can i?!
haiz..
u guys know..
i need to feel the mood to be able to move myself..
or someone to motivate me..
but there's no one now by my side to motivate me anymore..
i studied O level for u..
to prove to u i can make it..
but now..
i prove to who and what for?!
haiz..
i'm so fucking disappointed in myself..
this is the worst thing that could ever hpn to me in my entire life!!!
i've never done this before..
it's a record breaking for me..
but what for i need this record breaking?!
like i said!!!
there's nothing to be proud of!!!
I DUN WANNA TALK ABOUT IT ANYMORE!!!!!!!!!
IT"S ALL OVER!!!
I WILL NEVER LET IT HAPPEN TO ME AGAIN!!!!!!
♥ Purple Love™ addicted to purple at: 9:36 PM
Monday, September 12, 2005
oh well well...[super super super long entry...]
exams are near..
i've not done any studying...
yest dunno y got mmodswing..
and i'm not having mens..
it's been so darn long that i got a moodswing lah..
was damn tired..
and the ppl working are all so sucky..
including myself..
made lotsa mistakes so was pissed with myself..
and that indonesian guy pissed me off too...
everyday bound to pissed me off..
teach and teach and teach..
he will never understand..
so even before i go brk i was alr damn black lah my face..
can u imagine..
coz was so damn fu*knig busy lah..
then not enuff ppl some more..
haiz..
then blah blah blah blah blah..
sally mia for the longest time lah..
when we are already so busy lah..
haiz..
then cant take it..
i brk dwn yest..
twice some more lor..
once before i offically knock off..
i mean they obviously dunno i cried..
and once when i was all alone in the locker..
i guess i was simply too tired that's y i will brk dwn..
haiz..
then actually didnt wanna go 97 with them..
but becoz of my mood i went..
i wanted to get drunk..
i really intended to..
i was sad and pissed yest so drank a bit more and end up puking...
i know what i was doing on so i wasnt drunk...
end up didnt manage to get drunk lah..
and was sad coz of all the songs they sing and play..
haiz..
tired to control but i cant..
so brk dwn agn lor..
haiz..
but i think sally dunno..
think she only knock i puke..
coz she was outside 97 with me oso..
she was on the phone i was seating outside thinking and crying..
but i came out 1st..
she came to look for me coz everyone tot i drunk..
haha..
but i wasnt..
niway today was feeling much better and work better..
sally even praise me for what i did today..
coz i was sort of the only senior on floor with the new sup[only joined for abt a week or so] who doesnt know how to take orders yet and i'm like the only one running around frm 12+ to 2+ when it cools down slightly..
and i didnt even know the time flies so fast lah..
haiz..
was the only one runnnig around the whole cafe..
haiz..
frm sending food and drinks to taking everyones order..
can u imagine how i did it?!
i myself oso didnt know why i'm faster in my speed today..
haiz..
i guess i work mus see mood sia..
haiz..
not the right attitude i know..
haiz..
today linda was in the sandwich counter guiding the new staff..
sally was at the bar n cashier counter..
i was on floor..
the new sup was suppose to be at the bar..
but she kp jamming the orders so they cant afford to let her handle the bar alone so linda asked her to come out and hlp floor whereby she know nothing abt floor esp clearing..
like who dunno lah..
and i was the only one runnnig around..
literally running..
haiz..
was good enough that i didnt take any wrong orders and at least customers didnt complain anything..
kinda have the mentality that i'm the only one on floor who knows how to take orders and send orders so i have to be fast..
everyone is busy oso, so i cant expect anyone to hlp me..
that's the reason y i'm better at work today..
seriously..
haiz..
at least sally is fair enough to give us[regular part-timers] incentives which other outlets dun give..
she really treat us very nice..
haiz..
this kind of manager go where find?!
my old sup is leaving us coz she got baby in her stomach..
she needs to go back to malaysia to yang tai..
haiz..
then i tell u..
i will vomit more blood lor..
coz aft she leave then no more hao bang shou alr lor..
this indonesian who is doing attachment here..
doesnt understand wat we are toking..
and everytime the 1st thing he does when he reached is always to serve drinks when i'm there standing..
and behind me, there r still so many tables haven take their orders yet and oso many tables haven been cleared lah..
haiz..
so today i was alr damn busy when there is so many tables not cleared and the new sup is the one who hlped me clear most of the tables..
and he can jus come in and stand beside me wanting to serve the drinks whwn i was alr there setting the drinks lor..
is like linda had told them thousands and millions of times to do what they r suppose to do..
but they jus like to do what i do lah..
haiz..
really lah..
i sent orders then he will wanna sent..
so fine, i let him sent n i go and clear tables lah..
then he dun wanna continue wan lor..
he only jus wanna sent le then see i clearing tables then walked towards me and hlp me lor..
like wat the fuck lah..
i always kana scolding for two things...
why u dun wanna sent the orders..
and u guys noe i will always kp quite abt things wan lor..
then or not is they will say me..
one table need to ppl to clear meh?!
then never mind lor..no need to sent orders le lor..
is damn irritating and sickening wan lah..
den we have this station brk dwn to see who's doing what for the day..
like say-order taker,sandwich maker,barista/cashier,food and drinks server, etc...
then i was kinda pissed when he came to start work and jus stand beside me when there are many tables not cleared..
haiz..
so sally was in front of me at the bar counter and i really cannt take it le lah..
so i jus said directly to that guy..
can u go and clear table..
i didnt even bother to say pls or thank u lor..
usually i will wan lor..
but pls lah..
there is always a limit to ppl's patience wan lor..
really lah..
i guess is the language wise that is the prob..
i dun blame him for that..
but everyday he come work can make the same mistake over and over agn wan lor..
pls lah..
after ppl say u le..
then showed u how it is done some more, then u must rmb ur mistake and learn frm it..
no lor..
he's not lor..
everday he's scolded for the same reason wan lor..
haiz..
even if a person cant understand our language..
but once u r scolded even tho u dunno wat they r scolding and showing u how to do it the right way u must learn frm it regardless whether u understand wat the person is saying or not wat..
haiz..
can really vomit blood lah..
not say i wanna be mean but even for those who understand our language oso doesnt wanna listen to the senior's advise..
my old sup almost cried when complaining to me today lah..
is like..
everything is abt logic wan lor..
but ppl working there doesnt seems to understand why we do certain things certain way even after telling them, they are still doing things their own way..
haiz..
she's sad to see those ppl whom she teach doesnt want to listen and i think she feels depress at times..
like the ppl whom she teach doesnt wanna listen to u then she might as well jus kp quiet..
haiz..
if i were her i will do the same too..
they dun wanna listen there's nthg we can do to make them listen..
really..
simple things they cant even follow..
even sally has changed..
she wun kp quiet last time when she sees the place messy or we take wrong orders or slow or what..
if she was her last tym self, she wld be shouting at us alr..
haiz..
i'm jus a part-rimer..
i'm not suppose to bother so much..
but after working for so long i cant jus see the cafe standard go dwn..
today alr two customers telling me abt the standard of both the sandwich and coffees..
haiz..
both some more lor..
was quiet upset to hear those words frm them..
they asked me if it's the old chief doing the sandwiches etc..
i really dunno how to answer them..
haiz..
but i have to give them an ans lor..
haiz..
and being a regular part-timer is not gd..
every new staff seems to be toking to me abt their work there..
i dunno whether to tell sally how these ppl felt..
i seriously dunno how to speak up..
i dun wan to be seem as those kpo ppl..
but i've been thinking that all these things as a manager, sally shld noe..
haiz..
if this goes on the cafe will be like kinda in a mess..
haiz..
everyone is like putting on a mask..
which i think some are alr like that..
haiz..
u noe sometimes i really dunno who is real who is lying..
every word i hear i believe..
how then?!
haiz..
with this attitude i cant survive in this world..
haiz..
shit man..
haiz..
sianz..
alrite..
i shall stop complaining..
this is way too long..
but i still mus mention this..
--->
i went to Kbox today with seek..
ahahahaha..
so funny lah..
haha..
i went to look for her after work then was thinking where can we go..
then seek tot of ktv..
then called lydia to asked for the timing..
so we went..
haha..
and got one bung quite cute lah..
haha..
then we sang frm 11 or 12+ to 140am...
haha..
and guess how much total..
is only 21++ lor..
cheap rite..
the cheapest ktv i've ever went..
hahahahhahaha...
after relaxing today i mus pia for my exams le..
but i still dun have the mood for exams lah..
haiz..
damn it..
i cant afford to fail any coz i dun wanna take any sub papers lah..
haiz..
wateva..
it's way too "early"..
the time now is 6.56AM...
and i gotta go sch to study with my frens at 11AM..
how nice..
ha..
nitez man..
ppl start to wake up, go sch, go work..
me..
preparing to slp..
wat i nice timing man..
haiz...
k lah..
byez..
♥ Purple Love™ addicted to purple at: 5:16 AM
