Friday, August 05, 2005
i'm so bored...[empty feeling]
somebody date me pls....
haiz...
sianz...
test is over...
yet nobody wants to date me...
always come and look for me when i'm at the busiest stage...
now that i'm so much freeier nobody bothers to msg or call me..
haiz..
my phone is still so quiet...
haiz...
for the past few months...
last then 5 msgs per day..
so pathetic...
haiz...
so saddening...
but i'm kinda getting used to this kind of lifestyle..
worst comes to worst...
nobody ever contacted me for 2 days...
there wasnt a single msg or calls for 2 days...
this hpns a few tyms...
haiz...
i'm so bored...
getting used to it is one thing...
getting sick and tired of sucha lifestyle is another thing...
haiz...
sometimes i really feel so lonely...
nobody can imagine how lonely i felt...
once ever i jus go hm str8 aft sch...
it hpns for weeks...
haiz...
wat kind of life is this...
like living in my own world...
haiz...
when i'm free there jus isnt a single msg coming in...
wat the hell...
i really wonder do i really have a true fren...
like a real buddy...
who will rmbs me when she's lonely...
not only when she's lonely...
when she's busy at least still rmbs me and drop me a msg...
i dun see any of those...
haiz..
i dunno...
at tyms i felt that i have no frens at all...
when i'm all alone...
wanting to look for a fren to go out with me...
i dunno who to look for...
there's so many numbers in my phone list...
but i can jus kp scrolling and scrolling but none i can really meet up...
either they have no tym for me or they will be those whom i'm not close with...
haiz...
i'm tired of this working and studying life...
every fri when my clsmates go out aft sch i'm always have to work...
each outing they have i'm always not free coz got to work...
haiz...
when can i go out with them all...
even for today..
everyone when out aft paper to eat...
but where am i...
working...
haiz...
sometym in cls i feels so lonely...
i dun really have any close fren in cls...
coz i sledom haf tym to interact with them...
even yi ling...
i jus felt that somwhow we aint that close anymore...
haiz...
last tym we cld luff the whole day..
but now...
we hardly even tok in a day...
there's like nthg to tok abt...
haiz...
i'm jus not close to anyone anymore...
even darren...
sometyms we wld chat online abt lots of stuff..
but now there's hardly a topic we can tok abt...
last tym when we take bus together we cld tok the whole journey...
the very last trip all we did was slp thru the journey...
like as if we're strangers...
haiz..
mayb it's jus me..
i feels so empty inside..
mayb i'm thinking too much now coz i'm bored..
but is not true..
i've tho of this b4...
is jus that i did mention it..
haiz...
all this have been going thru my head for months...
i jus did wan anyone to pity me and i tot i cld stand alone and get thru it and be strong..
but somehow...
i'm back to my old me...
the weak vaneh everyone used to noe...
haiz...
well at least i dun appear weak when i'm out with frens...
only when i'm online...
but well..
is bad enuff...
i cld hide my emotions so well for the past 14mths...
it's been a yr and 2 mths gone...
haiz...
tym flies...
aaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhh......
wateva...
wat rubbish am i toking...
shit man...
haiz...
who am i?!
where am i?!
what am i?!
can amyone tell me?!
where's the real me?!
who is the real me?
what then is the real me?!
haiz....
well well well...
no more papers...
i'm going to slp and stop thinking...
btw dee asked me to write testi...
and i did wrote for jessie lim...
but it failed to add...
i tried writting for jessie lee...
and i used up all the 1000 characters...
gosh...
and it fails to add...
was angry with frenster so log off...
haha..
sound so stupid...
haha..
when to read ppl's blog...
but nthg interesting so decided to blog..
and ended up blogging rubbish...
and kills so many brain cells thinking so much of rubbish...
haiz...
i'm free tml...
who wants to date me?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!
anyone?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!
haiz...
i guess there isnt anyone...
i'm gonna be all alone agn...
haiz....
nitez then...
♥ Purple Love™ addicted to purple at: 2:45 AM
Thursday, August 04, 2005
oh well...
haiz...
for my past 3 papers all did so badly..
if only i really really really spent my time wisely...
haiz...
regreting now is no use...
i jus got to get started and work harder for my major exam...
haiz...
niway i'm having a computer programming test tml...
i'm not studying...
haiz..
why is this so?!
i wanna go mac and study leh...
but i scared of dark...
haiz...
got to walk a distance...
haiz...
if only is dwnstairs my hse...
haiz...
i guess i can really study when i'm there...
here at hm is really too many distractions le...
haiz...
tml paper at 2pm agn...
mus leave the hse earlier...
or not late agn...
haiz...
the driver so slow...
not my fault lor...
haiz...
was suppose to be early today...
but the bus came late and driver was driving so slowly...
stopping at all the traffic light...
can u imagine...
ppl rushing for time and it jus keeps stopping...
haiz...
niway today had diarrhoea...
haiz...
luckily is only for today...
i dun wish to go thru the 6 days suffering agn...
haiz...
but somehow i wish i can go thru that agn coz then i can jian fei...
haha...
haiz...
guess i'm back to my normal weight agn sia...
haiz...
alright lah...
got to slp and then wake up and study le...
♥ Purple Love™ addicted to purple at: 1:05 AM
