Saturday, April 03, 2004
Mixed feeling..
So what if I did those things..
Can't you juz give me a chance to change..
Why others give me time but yet you don't..
How do you expect me to change overnight..
Yes I was fine few the whole of this week..
But I can't be sure that I can control myself..
Yes I did promise you..
And yes I broke the promise..
But don't you know how much you mean to me..
At least now I didn't do it as often as last time..
I'll get better for sure..
If there's a will there's a way..
And I know I can stop all those someday..
Why must you do this to me..
So by saying all those I will stop..
I can't control ok..
I can't..
So what if I don't treat you the way I should..
But my heart never change..
You'll always be my best friend..
But since you said those words to me that day..
I was so heart broken..
So pain..
Can't believe that my best friend will ever say that to me..
I just don't understand..
Why must I change in such a short time..
At least I reduce the no. of times I did it and slowly stop rite..
I know you're doing all those for my own good I know..
I know exactly what you meant..
But I can't I can't I can't change in such a short time..
Haiz..
Recently I'm not in a good mood..
Might be moodswings..
Haiz..
I hate it..
My darling is always there for me..
Really glad that she's understanding..
Haiz..
Even though she could be there..
I don't feel any better..
She can't solve the prob for me..
Haiz..
Had been crying agn..
I hate it..
Why must I be such a emotional person..
Why..
Everyone is getting irritated with me..
I know..
I'm piss-ed with myself too..
Is so exhausting to have to cry so many times..
Haiz..
Wish I could call you and talk to you..
But from what I see..
When I told you I got things to tell you..
You're like so tired and everything..
I don't wish to bother you..
So I kept everything to myself..
No one knows why I'm like that this few days..
Just wish that I could bleat everything to you..
But I don't feel gd..
Coz you too I believe are tired with your own probs..
Haiz..
I cried while having morning runs you don't know..
You wasn't there..
Thought that i could keep running and not think but i failed..
Was hoping for you to be there so that i can tell you what hpn..
But i can't..
And i cired for cetain reasons which i can't write it here..
Coz someone might be reading it..
Haiz..
I wish I could talk to someone who understands me fully..
If anyone thinks that you can actually understand me pls tell me..
So that I could tell you everything that's within me..
And not keeping everything to myself..
I don't like to talk to ppl who will always talk back and provoke me..
I need someone who understands me fully..
Haiz..
I just hope that I wouldn't do it agn and that my relationship with you would get better..
Haiz..
I don't like it when you keep turning to her..
I felt so left out..
Maybe you don't treat me as your best friend anymore..
I don't know..
I don't wish to be so distant from you..
Haiz..
How would you ever understand this..
*Tired,Stress,Confused,Pain,Heart broken..etc..*
♥ Purple Love™ addicted to purple at: 10:46 AM
