Thursday, February 03, 2005
Oh...Going back to tuesday...Haha...
I went to work late...
Coz the day before went to drink with them...
Was so tired that i fell aslp so fast that nite...
And the nxt day i went to work and i didnt realise that my eyes was swollen...
Sally Kow insisted that i've cried...
Which is so darn nt true...
The thing is that nite before falling aslp...
I was thinking to myself...
i'm kinda drunk but nt totally...
And i tot of you...
Felt lk crying but i cant...
I dunno why...
But i jus cant...
Usually i can and i will be able to...
This tym round no...
Is so different...
I really dunno wat is cry...
There isnt a word cry in my dictionary nw...
Haven been crying for the longest tym and nw that i'm sad or dwn...
I jus wun cry...
There is jus no tears coming out of my eyes...
I seriously dunno hw to make myelf cry...
Even by thinking abt you...
Even by thinking abt the saddest things that had hpn to me...
I wun cry anymore...
All i noe is that i'm feeling so damn terrible inside...
It's because i tell myself nt to cry anymore and had been kpiing so many things to myself that i've learnt to be strong?!
Is this wat ppl called strong?!
Haiz...
I dunno...
Strong might nt be the right word...
Mayb the right word for me is jus that i'm escaping frm reality...
I'm jus pushing everything away and make myself busy by working...
So went Sally Kow kpt saying i cried...
I almost wanted to tell her...
I dunno hw to cry anymore...
And i tot of you while working...
And i finally realise...
I seriously cant cry anymore...
Haiz...
didnt cry for so long le...
Even the saddest thing oso cant move me to tears...
I felt so cold blooded nw...
Haha...
I'm feeling so terrible inside...
Really really bad...
I dunno hw to express myself...
Really dunno hw...
I'm nv gd at words to describe things or feeling...
Nv gd at it...
I cant put them in words...
I jus cant...
Who the hell on this earth cld read wat i'm thinking and let me noe wat exactly to say abt my feelings, my tots...
Haiz...
Sad,scared,confused,fustrated,angry,numb,treeible,... is the only few words in my dictionary that i think is most suitable for describing my feelings...
Who the hell in this fucking world noes exactly hw i feel???????!!!!!!!!
Haiz...........
♥ Purple Love™ addicted to purple at: 1:06 AM
