Friday, September 16, 2005
what the FUCK!!!
I'm not proud of it at all..
i'm so fucking angry with myself...
nobody knows how i feel...
thinking i enjoy not going for exams..
not even..
please..
i didnt have the mood at all..
to even bother answering the phone calls...
my phone had been ringing for the longest time...
the number of missed calls i had..
both from sally kow and tan yi ling..
pls lor..
i have no mood to explain..
no mood to talk..
my mind was blank when i woke up...
what worst can ever happen to me...
I DUN ENJOYED THIS AT ALL!!!!!!!
haiz..
but it has already hpn...
haiz..
i so feel like droping out of sch..
sally kow dunno that i didnt go take exams today..
haiz..
if she knew i'll be dead..
none of my family member knows abt it..
haiz..
my mum had such a high hope on me..
how can i ever let her down..
haiz..
told sally kow that i wanna drop out of sch..
she was saying then u wanna join dome..
i give u $1400 pr mth and a post of supervisor..
haha..
but obviously she was joking..
she was like..
if u drop out u only had O level cert..
where can u go..
only Dome will want u..
haha..
haiz..
but she obviously discourage me to drop out and asked me to continue with my poly life..
at least when i come out and wanna work i still have a poly diploma cert..
haiz..
i really dunno..
this is not like sec sch anymore..
no more spoon feed..
no more discipline..
it's all by urself thing..
vaneh how can be left alone..
how can i?!
haiz..
u guys know..
i need to feel the mood to be able to move myself..
or someone to motivate me..
but there's no one now by my side to motivate me anymore..
i studied O level for u..
to prove to u i can make it..
but now..
i prove to who and what for?!
haiz..
i'm so fucking disappointed in myself..
this is the worst thing that could ever hpn to me in my entire life!!!
i've never done this before..
it's a record breaking for me..
but what for i need this record breaking?!
like i said!!!
there's nothing to be proud of!!!
I DUN WANNA TALK ABOUT IT ANYMORE!!!!!!!!!
IT"S ALL OVER!!!
I WILL NEVER LET IT HAPPEN TO ME AGAIN!!!!!!
♥ Purple Love™ addicted to purple at: 9:36 PM
